7 Best Lubes for Sex, Recommended by Experts and Reviewers

When thinking about which lubricant to buy, it’s important to consider how you’ll be using it. For instance, if you use latex condoms for contraception or protection against STIs, you should stay away from any oil-based lubricants, because they can damage condoms. If you’re using a silicone sex toy that’s not made with medical-grade silicone, then choose a water-based lubricant to avoid ruining the toy. If you or your partner have a vagina, then it’s important to consider the osmolality of any water-based lubricant (the ones on this list are fine), because a lubricant with high osmolality can be harmful to vaginal tissue. Beyond that, have fun experimenting with different types to see whether you prefer a thicker or thinner texture, scented or unscented, and from a pump bottle or a tube. And when in doubt, talk to a health practitioner if you have any questions about which is the healthiest choice for you.

Dr. Streicher isn’t a fan of water-based lubricants. “Yes, they’re the cheapest kind out there and they’re easily accessible. But there’s no time when I would suggest that someone use a water-based lubricant. First, they don’t last very long and they have to be reapplied on a regular basis. They’re not particularly slippery. And they can get sticky over time,” she says. But the biggest issue with a water-based lube, she continues, “is that many of them are actually damaging to the vaginal tissue because they have a high osmolality from preservatives and other ingredients." To explain the science simply, osmolality has to do with the concentration of molecules in a product.

"These ingredients cause water to actually be drawn out of the vagina, which dehydrates the tissue and causes a breakdown in that tissue. This not only causes irritation and discomfort — it also increases the likelihood of acquiring a sexually-transmitted infection because of the breaks in the skin.”

So in general, Dr. Streicher feels that water-based lubricants can be really problematic, though there’s more awareness of this among the companies, “and there are a few that are very careful about low osmolality and pH balance in order to preserve the microbiome and avoid this breakdown.” The osmolality number you should look for, says Dr. Streicher: “You’re looking for as close to 300 as possible.” With some of the best-selling brands, alas, that number is as high as 1200.

With silicone lubricants, says Dr. Streicher, a little goes a long way — so even if the price is lower for water-based lubes you may not be saving money. "With silicone lubricants, you don't need to reapply it as often. They're far more slippery and last longer, and they don’t have osmolality or pH issues. Yes, they’re more expensive, and that’s a downside. Another is if you like having sex in the shower you have to be careful, because if it gets on the floor you can slip and fall. And silicone lube is harder to get out when it gets all over the sheets." You might have heard that you can’t use silicone lube with a silicone sex toy — that’s not necessarily true, says Dr. Streicher. “If the toy you’re using is made from a high-grade medical silicone, you can use a silicone lube with it. If the toy is made from cheap silicone, though, a silicone lube will destroy it. One workaround is that you can put a condom on the sex toy and then use whatever lube you want. And then when you’re done, just take the condom off and throw it out. No mess!”

Dr. Streicher isn't surprised at how often people aren’t sure how to use a lube. “I realize that people buy a tube of lubricant, and then, have no idea where to put it and what to do with it. The package doesn’t have directions.” (Here’s a fun fact around packaging, according to Dr. Streicher. "The companies don’t say ‘for intercourse’ because as soon as the package says that it’ll go in the vagina, they’re supposed to do studies, because then it’s for internal use.”)

Here's how to use a lube, says Dr. Streicher: “The time to apply lubricant is before you attempt intercourse. You squeeze it on your fingers, and if there’s a penis involved, you apply it liberally to the penis, and to the opening of the vagina [or anus].” It’s important to warm the lube first, she adds: “If you put cold lube on an erection, he might lose it.”

The best way to warm it? “You have options,” she says.” The first is to just fill your sink with warm water and float the bottle in there—that takes a little advance planning. Or you can get a lube warmer—you fill it with lube, it warms it up, and then you squirt it out.” Some massage-oil warmers can work as well.

Lisa Bain is a longtime, award-winning health journalist who runs the Health Newsroom for Good Housekeeping, Prevention and Woman’s Day. She has covered health, sexual and reproductive health, and wellness for a range of magazines including Women’s Health, Parenting, Glamour, and The Good Life, and was a senior editor at Esquire. To find the best sexual lubricants, she researched studies and consulted health experts, including Lauren Streicher, MD, a top gynecologist and sexual health and menopause expert who is a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine and author of many best-selling books, including Slip Sliding Away: Turning Back the Clock on Your Vagina.