55 Best Valentine's Day Jokes to Spread Love and Laughter
These funny sayings and one-liners are perfect to share with adults or kids.
Valentine's Day isn't just a time to celebrate romance. It's a time to embrace the fun and funny aspects of life with all of your loved ones, not just your significant other. No matter who you celebrate with, there's so much more to February 14 than romantic candlelight dinners, flowers, chocolates and all the traditional fixings. For the folks in your life who prefer a more lighthearted approach to Cupid's favorite holiday, these hilarious Valentine's Day jokes help set the mood perfectly.
Use any of these punny and cute jokes to liven up a romantic Valentine's Day dinner, to keep the laughs going in the office, or even as a fun icebreaker if you're spending the day dedicated to love on a first date. Giving someone a gift? Jot down your favorite from this list with an adjoining card. You’re guaranteed to get a smile sweeter than the best Valentine’s Day chocolate.
What did the man with the broken leg tell his Valentine?
I have a crutch on you.
Why did the dad approve of his daughter's goalie-boyfriend?
He was a real keeper.
What did one oar tell the other oar?
This is so row-mantic!
What did the tortoise say on Valentine's Day?
I turt-ally love you.
What do you tell a pig on February 14?
Happy Valen-swine's Day!
What do you call a colorful heart that loves books?
Well-red.
Why did the skeleton break up with her boyfriend before Valentine's Day?
Her heart wasn't in it.
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How can you save money on Valentine's gifts?
Become single.
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Why didn't the two dogs make serious Valentine's Day plans?
It was just puppy love.
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What did the couple say after they were struck by Cupid's arrow?
"Ouch!"
Why couldn't the mineral water ever get a Valentine?
All of his friendships were so pla-tonic.
What Valentine's message can you find in a honeycomb?
"Bee mine."
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What did the romantic sing after she got a paper cut?
"I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love!"
When do bed bugs fall in love?
In the spring.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Bea.
Bea who?
Bea my Valentine!
Why are artichokes so beloved?
They're known for their hearts.
Which new Taylor Swift tune is the best couple's song for two ghosts to share?
"Invisible String."
What did the chef give to his wife on Valentine’s Day?
A hug and a quiche.
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What did one piece of toast say to the other?
"You're my butter half!"
Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
Because it's all heart.
Hannah Jeon is an Associate Commerce Editor at Prevention, where she covers expert-driven commerce content for all things health, beauty, and wellness. Previously the Editorial Assistant at Good Housekeeping, she earned her bachelor’s degree in creative writing and psychology from Johns Hopkins University. When she’s not on the hunt for all the best products online, you can often find her trying out new food spots in New York City or clicking away behind a camera.
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